My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
