WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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