so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
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