i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize