i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
