yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You are a genius and a whore.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
