you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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