Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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