its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
