As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
