I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
