It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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