its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
