You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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