Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
