Don't you send me to vm
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
