Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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