I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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