What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
