if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
