She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
