lets start a swedish sibling band together
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
