Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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