god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
