i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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