i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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