How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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