We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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