Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
