STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
