So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
