I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize