also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
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Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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