I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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