Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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