drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
