how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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