My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
