I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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