Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
