so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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