well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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