So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
