would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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