just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You are a genius and a whore.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize