A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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