she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize