You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
my poor anus
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
