just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
