Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
