Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
