I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
