I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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