Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
