he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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