At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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