I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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