it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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