Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
